Cindrella Mehfuz’s TwitChat Transcript
- We have CSA survivor @CindrellaMehfuz here to take your questions. Please send in your questions to her hashtagged #CSAAM
A. I was subject to 3 episodes of CSA during my childhood. It was a struggle to move on especially cos I cudnt tell nybody abt it. But God has his ways to help us move on. Its important to forgive people. Be the bigger person n of course, the better one.
Q. What were the emotions you as a child had to deal with, and overcome?
A. I thought I was ‘dirty’, I felt lonely and betrayed and majorly confused.
Q. Were you able to tell your parents about the abuse? What was their reaction? How did it affect you?
A. I erred. I cudnt muster the guts to tell my folks. Only once I had moved on, I told them. They wre sad but I was fine.
Q. You have found that religion helped in healing. What advice would you give other survivors to help them move on?
A. I follow the Man and not the religion Advice – family (minus the perpetrator) and God. Hold on to them. Ur healing will come. Don’t say ‘I’ll avenge’. God has eyes. He sees. He will avenge them for u.
Q. What advice would you give schools on CSA sensitisation? Teachers?
A. if sex education is important then CSA awareness is doubly important! Good touch bad touch has to be taught to the kids
Q. How tough is it for u to talk about the experience now? Does forgiveness&your relationship with God make it easier?
A. a relationship with God makes talking about it now, a cake walk
Q. What would you advice those who’ve gone through similar experiences in their childhood?
A. 1) tell ur family. Dey trust u 2) Take it in prayer. Jesus heals 3) forgive 4) move on 5) continue loving
Q. What helped you break out of it, then? When did you decide to talk about it?
A. my only companion in those days were hymns and songs Nights of slow ‘siski’ tears and prayers got me out of it!
Q. In your journey out of victimhood was there anybody who inspired you?
A. Actually, no. because there aren’t many people who come out of closet about this. I wanted to change that. That was my drive
Q. what’s the feeling like when u realize that every1 is aware of what u went thru and u have to face them.
A. honestly, I luv dat! I can be transparent abt my life and not fear judgment. Those men gotta fear The Judgment Day though,
“That’s the point that is hardest to get through, I think. That the shame is not yours but theirs” Bingo! It took for me to get there too. But by God’s grace, I got there. My head is held high, is theirs?
Q. Read a report today abt a 3yrOld’s rape&murder! This is becoming a weekly affair!Don’t these make you go grrrr?
A. people forget that God is watching. I wish someone reminded them
Q. What would you do if a child came to you claiming CSA?
A. I would firstly hug him/her. Assure the kid that I’m there for him. I’ll trust him/her and take on the perpetrator
- #CSAAM we need to talk! We need to educate! We need to love kids and not lust for them!
- What’s also important is to continue loving. Not just forgiving and moving on but moving on with peace n grace
reason for them to believe.